Still, I decided to give this idea a try and came up with a compromise, these loafers which have tiny bangles which could pretend they were some kind of lace (true, you can't lace these shoes up, but it was the closest thing I could find). I have a few ballet flats and moccasins but they don't even have a hint on lace, while these bangles make me think I tried.
I'd buy a pair of lace up shoes to wear at home but this is a year we're trying to get out of debt. So I'll just try to do with what I have.
Hooray! My shoes are on my feet and I'm ready for anything.